Happy New Year

It has been a quiet week with clear, cold weather reminding of years spent in the far North with months of darkness and the wait for the return of the sun.



Well, if you're travelin' in the North country fair,
Where the winds hit heavy on the borderline,
Remember me to one who lives there.
She once was a true love of mine.

Well, if you go when the snowflakes storm,
When the rivers freeze and summer ends,
Please see if she's wearing a coat so warm,
To keep her from the howlin' winds.


Happy New Year Aurora - Happy New Year everyone!

Happy Christmas everyone!

I've got a feeling
This year's for me and you
So Happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
where all the dreams come true.



The belfry reminds me that it's Christmas time.
And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

So happy Christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
where all the dreams come true.

Moscow is cold this December and city officials reports casualties from hypothermia.



And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

They've got cars big as bars
They've got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
It's no place for the old!

The first snowfall in Moscow this winter created chaos:



And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

We watched all cars standing still
and kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night.



And the bells are ringing out for Christmas Day.

So Happy Christmas everyone! Thanks for following the blog.

Enjoy the best ever Christmas Carol with The Pouges and Kirsty MacColl.

Watch both - it's Christmas only once a Year....

Should I stay or should I go?

The Circus New Development's Workers Poetry Festival is seeking sponsors for the 2013 festival that may take place in 2015 or 2016.

A wise man once wrote this poem about working in a Circus:

Happy days in SGA
G - that's where we play
Days are long and desks are short
Coming home I need a port
Time for change is more than rife
Yes, I need another life

Happy days in SGA
G - why should I stay?
In the office neck to neck
Work like hell but what the heck
Life is short but money's good
Take the pain, that's understood

Happy days in SGA
G - it's not OK
I wonder what I'm doing here
Things are better everywhere
Time for change is more than rife
Yes, I need another life

We shall not analyze this poem, only remind you that life in a Circus can be hard and that most Circus workers dream of a better life doing something completely different. Sadly they often leave for just another Circus!

The World's Largest Circus Tent

Ladies and Gentlemen - Children of all ages!

Five to ten years from now we look forward to welcome you to our huge, marvelous, brand new Circus tent.



It is now clear that we will have a cylindrical base with a conical top. One of our main shareholders has been in favor of a cubical base with a four sided pyramidal top. His knowledge of geometry is limited and he felt it was easier estimating the canvas needed for a solution based on squares and triangles. Experts from a well known mathematical institute has convinced him that the canvas area could easily be calculated with a slide rule using logarithms or by the HELGA computer software.




The HELGA calculation (see formula below) has estimated that we will need 1822123,73908208 square meters for a circus tent with a 400 meter radius and 100 meter high vertical walls and a 50 meter high cone. This will be the worlds largest circus tent!



We are currently identifying weavers that are qualified for supplying premium quality circus tent canvas in pink, yellow, red and blue.

The location of our New Circus Development requires extensive civil works and tons of dynamite to make a nice and flat foundation for our new circus tent. This will take years to complete.

Click on map to see details of the proposed area.



Our Department for Printing of Tickets and Business Cards are designing tickets for the new Circus. This is a very difficult task and the printing of business cards is further delayed with another four months.


We are now recruiting personnel for management positions and the position as Head of Training of Insects included Fleas is currently open for qualified applicants!!

In the near future a position as Specialist in our Looking for Runaway Fleas Division will be posted.

Travelling Dish Washers

Commuting dishwashers should not travel "upper class". That's a well known rule.



"Stiff-lip-upper-class" may conditionally travel "upper class", but not common dishwashers.

An experienced "silver fox" know that the price difference between "upper class" travel and "lower class" travel is minimal. So when the going get's tough, he knows what to do.

If he was Russian "upper class", flashing blue lights and a barking noise would make his way. That's how it is in most African and other third world developing countries.

Our friend is not a "VIP" Russian or an African King (small kind of king) and he fears not making his flight and make an upgrade to "upper class".

Every day the sun rises. Every day the sun sets. Every day the SAS flight take off from Moscow at 15:50 hrs. If you're late, it's too bad. If you make it, you're on. Easy as that!

Does it make any difference which class you are flying? Probably not - not for most of us and some will of course always make it with the right type of card.

If we had a Fire Alarm

If I were a swan, I'd be gone. If I were a train, I'd be late.
If we had a fire alarm...

Dear Guests,

The Hotel will test our fire alarm system. We have decided to close the Hotel for this important event. No guests will be present at the time of the testing. Any employees that by accident are in the building should stay calm and if possible continue their work at their work desks or wherever they are and avoid falling over from laughter. The fire alarm testing department will not tolerate any jokes regarding stupid announcements and silly music between each stupid announcement. We would like to remind you that the fire alarm testing procedure has been approved by our CEO in Order no: 232/2009 on June 2nd 2009. This is official policy until a new and quite different policy has been approved. Please note that the fire alarm testing procedure is classified as "strictly confidential".

Best regards

Head of Administration of Fire Alarm Testing and Silly PA Announcements

Our goal is to run fire alarm tests so smoothly that it's not recognized by anyone.

If I were asleep, I could dream. If I were afraid, I could hide.

In order to protect the security of our Hotel Development, it's decided to post the fire evacuation plans on the back of the doors of each electronic safe and not on the doors to each hotel room. As you should know, these evacuation plans are nearly secret.

If I go insane, please don't put wires in my brain.





If I were the moon, I'd be cool. If I were a rule, I would bend.

On a Mission

Guess what - Teriberka is not the place for our new Resort and SPA. There must be plenty of better locations.

On our recent mission to Borneo we investigated several opportunities.



It's not hard to conclude. The local work force is smiling and service minded. The ThetaPhi chromosome - also called the bureaucracy gene - is absent. This is the place for our New Hotel Development. One downside is very long commuting, but I'm convinced everyone will work to find flexible solutions.



Cultures are very different and for some life is much more than work. Gold can be bought at too high a price as can success.

If you didn't know, hotel workers are poorly paid and badly treated.

Commuting hotel workers depart all the time. Each time they say goodbye to their loved ones, they look forward to coming back. At the same time they look forward to see their friends and co-workers.

I know this because I'm a commuting dishwasher.

Remember the night man at Hotel California?; "You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave!"

That's guests and not workers. Workers can leave with a fortnights notice!!

Leaving for what?

Maybe this................

Departures was the title

This week's blog was sent to our lawyers for proof reading. Unfortunately they didn't like what we wrote about the hotel management and our description of the the Hotel New Development. We were advised not to publish this week's blog and we decided to follow the lawyer's advise.

Be it sight, sound, smell, touch.
There's something inside that we need so much,
The sight of a touch, or the scent of a sound,
Or the strength of an arquebus deep in the ground.

Dem no like to hear word

If my eyes no decieve me and na true be things my ears dey hear..

The Hotel business is getting tougher. It's not easy to say; "I'll work from home tomorrow", if your boss thinks you are cleaning floors. Or if you work at the Circus as a clown. For others it's easy to work from home, if you aren't a clown or feeding the lions. If you are feeding lions, you have to be where the lions are.

Dem dey make like say, dem know o know; "Give dem lions food".

Others that is not clowns or feeding lions may well work from home. It may even be more efficient for them to work from home if they have a nice quiet office without any disturbances, a fast internet line and a good computer. And I will repeat, it doesn't work if they are feeding lions or entertaining as clowns.

Look my friends, dem no like to hear word. Na to dey follow follow, follow dem enemies like zombie, dem dey go dey march dey go feed lions and monkeys.

You can even work from another country if you aren't feeding lions or being a monkey in the Circus. If you are a Clown or Monkey, you have to be there in the Circus performing in front of all the kids that has come to see the Clowns and the Monkeys.
It's obvious. People would have claimed their money back, if the circus director in Moscow had announced clowns and monkeys performing in Oslo or Paris.

For others it easy to work from all over. Is that difficult to understand?

Coming from the land of the ice and snow

Never did we see so many migrant workers as when the Hotel and Circus workers were handed over their new work visas. Their faces were shining bright in relief for not having to sneak around corners and dark back streets in fear for being stopped by the police the upcoming weekend. No bands were playing, but speaches and joyfull cheering.

We come from the land of the ice and snow,
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands!

Next week the Board of Directors will meet at the Hotel and the Administration will warn us not to park personal cars within the area adjacent to the Hotel building.

Уважаемые коллеги,

В связи с проведением Совета директоров, прошу Вас не парковать личные автомобили на прилегающей близлежащей территории к гостиницы зданию, расположенному по адресу: г. Териберку.
Департамент по управлению делами

* * *

Dear team,

In connection with the meeting of the Board of Directors, please do not park personal cars within the area adjacent to the Hotel building in Teriberka.
Administrative and General Services Department



Black cars will roll up in front of the Hotel with their highly respectable passengers. Mind you - the cars will not leave, but stay with sleeping drivers and running engines polluting our air.

The staff will be waiting for breaking news. Any big decisions? In a few days we will know.

The Emperor’s New Suit

Many, many years ago lived an emperor, who thought so much of new clothes that he spent all his money in order to obtain them; his only ambition was to be always well dressed. He did not care for his soldiers, and the theatre did not amuse him; the only thing, in fact, he thought anything of was to drive out and show a new suit of clothes. He had a coat for every hour of the day; and as one would say of a king “He is in his cabinet,” so one could say of him, “The emperor is in his dressing-room.”

Not long ago lived a strange group of people, who were working together in a corporation and a project. Some of them did not care for anything but the project and others did not care for the project at all. They were happy as long as they could send out orders. "Here is a completely new order" one could say, but it was an old copied one. They had to sit there behind taped windows so no one could see what they did or did not. "Don't disturb, they are not thinking", you could say.

The emperor and all his barons then came to the hall; the swindlers held their arms up as if they held something in their hands and said: “These are the trousers!” “This is the coat!” and “Here is the cloak!” and so on. “They are all as light as a cobweb, and one must feel as if one had nothing at all upon the body; but that is just the beauty of them.”

The Head of Heads and all the Heads gathered in a big Hall. They said; "Today is a big day for us all! We'll tell you about the biggest, the newest, the greatest and finally you will see our new logo and you must ask many questions because we are very modern. Don't be shy".

“Indeed!” said all the courtiers; but they could not see anything, for there was nothing to be seen.

"Nod, nod, nick, and nod", said all the Heads. Here the two stories become very different. While the emperor undressed, the Head of Heads and all the other Heads dressed.

“Does it please your Majesty now to graciously undress,” said the swindlers, “that we may assist your Majesty in putting on the new suit before the large looking-glass?”

The emperor undressed, and the swindlers pretended to put the new suit upon him, one piece after another; and the emperor looked at himself in the glass from every side.

The Head of Heads dressed the corporation and the project and the second Head of Heads did the same. "There was never a greater project than this and all would be remembered for taking part in it."

“How well they look! How well they fit!” said all. “What a beautiful pattern! What fine colors! That is a magnificent suit of clothes!”

"Hear, hear", said the Head of Ceremonies, "Feel free to ask questions, since we are very modern and truly international. No questions? Don't be shy."

The master of the ceremonies announced that the bearers of the canopy, which was to be carried in the procession, were ready.

“I am ready,” said the emperor. “Does not my suit fit me marvelously?” Then he turned once more to the looking-glass, that people should think he admired his garments.

The chamberlains, who were to carry the train, stretched their hands to the ground as if they lifted up a train, and pretended to hold something in their hands; they did not like people to know that they could not see anything.

"Today you will hear all about our great mission", said the two biggest Heads. One after one came forward and told the People about how fabulous everything was. They came from North and South and East and West. Even the Head of Protocol had his say.

The emperor marched in the procession under the beautiful canopy, and all who saw him in the street and out of the windows exclaimed: “Indeed, the emperor’s new suit is incomparable! What a long train he has! How well it fits him!” Nobody wished to let others know he saw nothing, for then he would have been unfit for his office or too stupid. Never the emperor’s clothes were more admired.

Most of the People listened since they had to. Little did they believe in much of what was said? They were waiting for the champagne and the dancing. The master of the ceremonies asked a beautiful Lady and not the Head of All Heads to come forward and officially reveal the New Logo and she did with charm.

“But he has nothing on at all,” said a little child at last. “Good heavens! Listen to the voice of an innocent child,” said the father, and one whispered to the other what the child had said. “But he has nothing on at all,” cried at last the whole people. That made a deep impression upon the emperor, for it seemed to him that they were right; but he thought to himself, “Now I must bear up to the end.” And the chamberlains walked with still greater dignity, as if they carried the train which did not exist.

The Head of Heads and the other Heads had not been told by a little child that the corporation doesn't appear modern an international. The corporation is not naked like the emperor; it has a hat and a coat from the sixties and a suit from 1974.
"Not very modern", you may say. The emperor finally realized that he was naked.
Will the Heads ever get rid of the old hat, the coat and the suit from 1974?

Wrecked, poor, naked and blind

Active or passive ownership? When a Company struggle, ownership becomes important. Strong and clear owners could make the difference between disaster and survival. Unfortunately, the ownership in our Hotel Development Group is not strong and clear.

Courage is not high either among the owner nor the Hotel employees.

Why is that? The Hotel employees is like a louse between two hard nails - the owners and the employer. Wrecked, poor, naked and blind?



The Hotel says;"We are building a modern international corporation and we welcome openess and questions!" Nobody believes in that story. The Hotel is an old fashioned company with strong roots in the long gone Soviet era. Remember, most major players in the Hotel corporation have their background from the Soviet system.

The Hotel policies is not sustainable and will not work over time. Only fair and decent conditions can survive.

Lift me – lift me from the ground and don´t ever put me down.

Our General Services and Power Directorate is currently developing a procedure on how to order a change out of defect light bulbes. Unfortunately they have lost the procedure for developing procedures. This may cause a delay in the opening of the new New Hotel untill 2014 - at least.



Changing the system from inside is suicide. Don't you ever try! Look what happened to Manuel - a rising star full of talent and intelligence.



When all our troubles and all our struggles they are through.......

Circus going North

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome Murmansk, how are you;
Welcome to our Circus - Welcome to Circus New Development;
Meet all our clowns;
Learn Silly Walking;
See our well trained Beagles and Seals;
Hear, hear - Mr. P is coming;



Imagine all the experts gathering and remember, an expert doesn't have to be a rocket scientist. Very often it's enough being a looooooong way from home.



And now, they'll be flooding Murmansk for the First Murmansk International Economic Forum.

Little man with his eyes on fire;
And his smile so bright;

You may have got it - the Circus is sending a big delegation to this Forum. This will create business opportunities for someone. Some circus artists will travel upper class.....



Lower classes travel lower class in open carriage according to the circus' procedures. All men and women are equal, but some are more equal than others according to the protocol.



Did you see the circus clown?
What you see and what you will hear;
Will last you for the rest of your life.

According to a recent press release the New Hotel Development will move to a new location. Top Management has found a perfect site for the new Resort and Spa Hotel.

Unfortunately you see few seals on the nice beaches due to the illegal Swedish seal hunt over the last few years.



The new hotel will have the latest in fire and safety equipment as well as requirements and instruction on Fire Safety.

To attention of the smoking workers at “Hotel New Development” and of the persons working in the building societies:

• In connection with the complaints, about the increased frequency in cases of fires in garbage tanks because of not quench cigarette-butts, ejected by our workers and those, who work in the building, it is required to smoke only in designated smoking area.


• We remind you about the administrative and disciplinary responsibility for the non-observance of the requirements of instruction “about the measures of fire safety in the official and offices of “Hotel New Development” by the director of branch B Fawlty and criminal responsibility in accordance with the current legislation Russian Federation.

Administrative and supply directorate

Holy smoke! You can face disciplinary reactions and what if there is no one else to blaim!


Stick with me and I'll ride with you;
Till the end of the line.

...on the Metro.

Hold my hand and I'll walk with you;
Through the darkest night.

...on our way to Siberia.

Welcome to Circus New Development

Ladies and Gentlemen,

You've heard of Oxford Circus;
You've heard of Piccadilly Circus;
You've heard of The Moscow Circus;
And this is Circus New Development;
And we've got sights and sounds and marvels to delight your eyes and ears;

Circus New Development is a subsidiary of the Hotel New Development.

Our goal is to be recognized as a modern international circus well known for our seals and monkeys.

We have the pleasure to announce that Senor Manuel from Barcelona has accepted the position as Head of the Tours and Tents division. As Head of Tours, Manuel is responsible for recruiting monkeys and seals. According to Senor Manuel the market is flooded with monkeys. He claims to know a whole bunch. However, the market for dead and living seals is very tight at the moment.

WWF and Greenpeace are very concerned by the increasing Swedish seal hunt over the last few years. Swedes have increased their hunt (or kill) in the Baltic and in the Arctic.

In Murmansk, Russia, an institute has started training seals to drill exploration wells in the Barents Sea. The team of seals headed by the Head of Seals will operate an all electric drill at the sea floor. Rosatom's new floating nuclear power plant will provide the necessary power. The seals will replace the divers currently operating sea floor drilling units. Trained sample catcher seals will swim down to the reservoir catching hydrocarbon samples.



There are no connections between the company mentioned in this video and Circus New Development.

Homesick - pining for the fiords

Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

I'm pining for the fiords. It's the last chance this year to see the Norwegian Blue before they head South to Africa or where ever. I fancy migrating birds.



A delegation of the Hotel Developments ornithologists association recently visited the Norwegian fiords to study the Norwegian Blue. Among all the locations they even visited a gas platform in the North Sea. The hotel's organization is very modern and internationally oriented with all main functions included a Head of Protocol. The Head of Protocol has decided that all Heads of other Heads shall travel in closed carriages on long overland travels in rural areas. Heads shall travel in open carriages. In urban areas Heads of Heads may well prefer to travel in open black carriages if the weather is nice and the sun is shining.



The Hotel has initiated an open prequalification among carriage manufacturers with experience of delivering open carriages to Kings and other Big Heads with the purpose of purchasing two new corporate carriages preferably with a throne type rear seat.



Some of you is staying and this could be an excellent September weekend in Moscow.

Yoohoo - it's the gasmen and dishwashers day

This weekend we are celebrating the gasmen and the dishwasher's day. The Oil and Gas Industry celebrate the oil-and gasmen. In the Hotel Business we celebrate the dishwashers. Imagine that without the natural gas the food had been cold and without those brave men and women washing dishes you would be eating on dirty plates. I celebrated with a bunch of other dishwashers, a big pot of boiled sheep and cabbage and too much Aquavit. It's Ramadan, but we drew the curtains and started before the sun set.

Early morning without warning
Woke me with a scare
I had that dream again
That the sun was dead

May be it was too much Gammel Reserve?

Gammel Reserve is a mix of Løitens Linie, Lysholms Linie and Gammel Opland. It's only missing some Siemers (burned twice)!

Manuel was the main speaker at our celebration. He's a splendid guy:

On behalf of collective of The Dishwashing division of The Hotel New Development and from myself personally I congratulate you on our professional holiday – Day of the worker of the hotel industry and specially all dishwashers!
It is a holiday of real masters of the business, professionals, brave people, able to overcome the most improbable barriers and to decide the challenges. From the bottom of the heart I wish you prosperity, responsible partners and economic stability in Russia and all over the world, and may our cooperation be stronger!
I wish you and your relatives health, happiness and well-being!

The girls were told to go home early Friday; courtesy of Mr Fawlty, of course. It's hard to be a woman here at the Hotel. Leaving office at 1 pm allows her to shop sausages, beer and vodka; before he arrives home.

Meet me in the summertime. Pearly lips and cherry wine. Moonshine in your hair. Just keep staring at the sun.

Me, I'm doing fine, but still missing a small car. Some of the guys around here got really big cars. I just need a small one, but can only dream.

On the efficient usage of toilets

Last week was another quiet week in Moscow. Changing, but nice weather. Good for walking last weekend. Not much traffic early in the morning.



Got a good shot of my favourite motiv.



This week the hotel management decided that guests and employees shall use doors when entering or leaving the hotel. A Norwegian guest climbing out of a window was reported by an English gentleman. The hotel security department will ensure that this will not be possible in the future. A special secret order has been issued by the secret security department. It says that the hotel building have doors that shall be used when entering and leaving the building. That goes for Santa Claus as well. The doors are monitored by advanced electronic devices as well as security personnel.

Our hotel are focusing cost cutting these days. A task force led by Manuel has recommended to target energy consumption, unecessary use of colors and the latest initiative is on the use of toilet paper and flush water. Potential savings are at least 30% of the costs related to savings identifcation, research and follow up.

Уважаемые работники компании «Oтел Девелопмент»!

В связи с планируемым проведением замеров туалета нашим «Oтел» просим Вас 01.09.2009 года:

• работающих на 1-ом и 2-ом этажах в 11-00 до 12-30: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.


• работающих на 3-ем и 4-ом этажах в 11-30 до 13-00: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.


• работающих на 1-ом, 2-ом, 3-ем и 4-ом этажах в 15-00 до 16:30: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.

Стойка в линии для того чтобы во избежание задержки!

Dear Hotel Employees!

Due to scheduled toilet utilisation measurements, please be advised to act as follows on September 1, 2009:

• For employees working on the 1st and 2nd floors - from 11.00 to 12.30 visit the toilets in turn.


• For employees working on the 3rd and 4th floors - from 11.30 to 12.30 visit the toilets in turn.


• For employees working on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors - from 15.00 to 16.30 visit the toilets in turn.

Organise a proper que to avoid delays!

Manuel

Head of Many Departments

Late Friday afternoon rumors said that Manuel (from Barcelona) has suggested to close all toilets and offer the option of refunding the cost of using one of the pay per visit one's at the near by metro station (provided you've got a receipt, of course). According to our friend people will think twice before walking 10 min to visit a toilet.



Metro station toilets could be good business. Kolkata (Calcutta), "The City of Joy", has a working metro system that shuts down in heavy rain. Like they have this time of the year with Monsun winds, 30 deg and thunder storms. It's a different and exiting city. If you are tired of the Hotel Development and want to start your own business, reply to this:

2 toilets, Near Bansdroni Metro Station For Sale

Location : South Kolkata - Tollygunge

Smoothly communicable, every thing available from the market near by, south-north-west open, very airy, full of light .

Contact : R K Basu

Mobile : 9836113338

Address : 280 Nathpara, Brahmapur, Kolkata 700084, Beside SBI Brahmapur

I've been to this place and it's a good location. Fortunately, on my travels in India there was never an urgent need.



Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

No colors anymore - I want them to turn black

Last week was a quiet week here in Moscow.

I see a red door and I want it painted black.
No colors anymore I want them to turn black.

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black.



I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door and it has been painted black.



Our energy saving campaign has been very successful. The never resting hotel management recently launched a new research program on the use of colors. Manuel, our brilliant friend from Barcelona, was heading the program showing excellent leadership. "There are too many colors"; Manuel said, before writing a new order to be signed by the hotel management.

With a view of consumables saving and efficient utilization of color printers in the Hotel premises I Give an Order:

1. To the Heads of all Hotel Departments:
   Ensure efficient utilization of paper and color printers. Preparation and copying of the presentation materials for the workshops should be made by using black-and-white printers in the right quantities only. Color printers should be used only in accordance with the instruction provided by the managers of structural subdivisions.
   


2. Information transfer to another company should be executed only by using CD-discs (or smoke signals), without USB Flash-Card.
   


3. Heads of Hotel Departments shall be charged with supervising;
   
   - office operating and employees work place conditions;
   
   Manuel Jose Milde Jesus Corcorcaedu, Head of Printing and Shredding Department, shall be charged with supervising;
   
   - efficient utilization of color printers
   
   Signed
   
   Hotel Director
   
   B Fawlty
   

Here in town autumn is sneaking in on us. Each morning brings more leaves in the streets. Soon colors will be gone and it's black or gray. Even the snow will be grayish and we'll walk around in black slush.

Until then we can enjoy nice squares and parks while it's still time. Visit VDNkH or the All Union Exhibition Center from 1937 with its beautiful gold covered fountain. The pavilions used to display communisms latest and greatest achievements. To day you'll find small shops.



As Mr Fawlty once said; "Colors, bloody colors", before finishing the refrain for the new song recorded for the hotels anniversary (his secret dream is to compete with the Gazprom and StatoilHydro songs at the yearly "How bad can it be?" show);

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!