If I were a swan, I'd be gone. If I were a train, I'd be late.
If we had a fire alarm...
Dear Guests,
The Hotel will test our fire alarm system. We have decided to close the Hotel for this important event. No guests will be present at the time of the testing. Any employees that by accident are in the building should stay calm and if possible continue their work at their work desks or wherever they are and avoid falling over from laughter. The fire alarm testing department will not tolerate any jokes regarding stupid announcements and silly music between each stupid announcement. We would like to remind you that the fire alarm testing procedure has been approved by our CEO in Order no: 232/2009 on June 2nd 2009. This is official policy until a new and quite different policy has been approved. Please note that the fire alarm testing procedure is classified as "strictly confidential".
Best regards
Head of Administration of Fire Alarm Testing and Silly PA Announcements
Our goal is to run fire alarm tests so smoothly that it's not recognized by anyone.
If I were asleep, I could dream. If I were afraid, I could hide.
In order to protect the security of our Hotel Development, it's decided to post the fire evacuation plans on the back of the doors of each electronic safe and not on the doors to each hotel room. As you should know, these evacuation plans are nearly secret.
If I go insane, please don't put wires in my brain.
If I were the moon, I'd be cool. If I were a rule, I would bend.
