Saturday, June 6, 2009

This is a fairytale

New ideas pops up in our corporate cancer part of the organization. Last week we had power consumption measurements and a fire drill. The fire drill was real good entertainment. In stead of keeping quiet or shut-up between announcements, the PA was playing Russian Rock.
The new developement in the power consumption message, is that we are not longer colleagues, but rabotniki (!!!)

Уважаемые работники

В связи с планируемым проведением замеров энергопотребления нашим «офисом» просим Вас 02.06.2009 года:

- работающих на 1-ом, 2-ом, 3-ем и 4-ом этажах в 15-00 до 16:30 включить: освещение в комнатах и кабинетах, кондиционеры воздуха и персональные компьютеры.

Начальник

Административно-хозяйственного управления

Dear hotel staff,

Due to scheduled power consumption measurements, please be advised to act as follows on June 2, 2009:

- For employees working on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors - from 15.00 to 16.30 switch on electric light, air conditioners, and PCs in all rooms.

Head of Corporate General Services Department


This is a history lesson. A week from now we will learn more during the Russian week. You are free to use all facts in this blog post in discussions with professors and others during the upcoming Russian week. However. I would appreciate discression regarding sources.

Many years ago a downtrodden and filthy tribe sat down and decided enough is enough. Some experts has later decided to call them Rus. A few years before they had thrown out their rulers as they were pissed by all the taxes that was forced down on them. Let's get some system, law and order back, they all said, Let's get 'em back. They elected to take a guy they called Rurik as their new ruler. Their language skills were not better then, and his real name was the Western (or Old) Nordic Hrårekr or Hårek in modern transcription. After the arrival of Hårek the area prospered and people paid their taxes with joy and enthusiasm. Hårek and his gang are best known for rape and plunder, but that were on their vacations. Normally they were hardworking law and order rulers and citizens.

Hårek's successor has been called Oleg. His real name was Helge (not Olav). He ruled at the same time as Harald Hårfagre and they probably knew each other. Probably not best buddy's, but had some respect. We don't know much about Helge. His successor Ivar (or Igor) was also one of Hårek's sons. Ivar took Kiev and later Konstantinopel while he was out plundering and collecting taxes. Some of Anders Lange's predecessors got hold of him and the story tells; "They had bent down two birch trees to the prince's feet and tied them to his legs; then they let the trees straighten again, thus tearing the prince's body apart." Ivar was married to Helga (also called Olga) and she revenged her husbands killers. She slaughtered, scalded and buried alive. She asked each household to present her with a dove as a gift, then tied burning papers to the legs of each dove and released them to fly back home. Each aviator set fire to the roof of their home and the homes was destroyed. As a scholar and a well educated person you probably already have guessed that Helga was the first Rus to convert to Christianity. Helga rules for her son Svend or Svein. He, however, remained a good pagan all his life. In newer books Svein has been called Sviatoslav. The reason could be his mother being influenced by the Greek priests and calling her son Sfendoslavos. The Greek as we all know never settle for a simple, manageable solution unless it's time for a nap.

Svein had three sons and Valdemar was the youngest. When their father died, the two oldest started fighting for power. Valdemar fled North to his relative Håkon Sigurdssøn, King of Norway, to get support. This happened in 977 and the year after he returned home with a good team of Viking warriors. One stronghold in Belarus was at that time called Paltjesborg (or Polotsk). Valdemar sent ambassadors ahead to Ragnvald (Rogvovlod) the ruler of Paltjesborg and asked for his daughter Ragnhild (Rogneda). The princess refused and Valdemar attacked, killed Ragnvald and took Ragnhild with him by force. History does not accuse him of taking her by force. Paltjesborg was a key fortress on the way to Kiev and later he took Smolensk well known by Napoleon and Hitler for both victory and defeat. In 980 Valdemar conquered Kiev and killed his oldest brother. He proclaimed himself konung of Kiev. This could be seen as the real start of Russia. As his grandmother he was baptized and later on he became a Saint(!). He had seven wives, some pagan and some Christian, and he had several hun dred concubines in Kiev and at his country estate. Valdemar collected taxes from a great area. One of his tax collectors was Sigurd Eirikson. On a travel to Estonia, he spotted a young slave boy, who did not appear to be a native. He asked the boy about his family, and the boy told him he was Olav, son of Tryggve Olavson and Astrid Eiriksdattir. Sigurd (Astrid's brother) bought Olaf and his friend Thorgils out from slavery, and took the boys with him to Novgorod to live under the protection of Valdemar. One day in the Novgorod marketplace Olaf encountered Klerkon, his enslaver and the murderer of his foster father. Olaf killed Klerkon with an axe blow to the head. Olav grew older and became head of Valdemar's guard, but after a couple years Olav decided to seek his fortune elsewhere. He started raiding the Baltic and later became King Olav I of Norway.




Ragnhild and Valdemar had a son called Jarleif (Jaroslav). The country prospered under his rule. He is pictured on the Russian 1000 rub note. He was married to Ingegerd Olofsdotter, a Swedish princess. Ingegerd was "engaged" to Olav II (Hellig Olav) of Norway, but her father didn't approve. Olav later married Ingegerd's half sister Astrid - an illegitimate daughter of the Swedish king. When Olav had to flee Norway he stayed with Jarleif and Ingegerd in Kiev before returning to Norway where he ended his life at Stiklestad. Olav was later canonized both in the Roman Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Church. There are no saints in Norway, but the highly respected title Ola Nordmann is named after Olav II.



One of his daughters, Elisabeth, married Harald III (Hardråde) of Norway. She followed him to Stamford Bridge - not for a football match, but for a battle. The ruling English king had enemies both to the North and South. He was waiting for an attack from France. Unfortunately the French could not sail up against the wind. They were waiting for wind from the South. Harald waited for the French to attack as well. His plan was challenge the winner of the first battle. Finally he decided not to wait any longer and set out against the Englishmen. Harald was killed and lost the battle. The winner normally takes it all. King Harold Godwinson - an English gentleman - let Elisabeth return to Norway with her dead husband and young son and daughter. She didn't become Elisabeth I of England - instead she died as a widow one year after. As you all know the wind turned to South East and the French crossed the Channel. An exhausted Harold Godwinson lost the battle of Hastings and the French took over England.

Elisabeth's daughter later became Queen of Denmark and Queen of Sweden.

Back home things were not particularly good. Her brothers oriented towards Greek monks and married women from the South. This led to a significant weakening of the Rus. After all Greek monks are quite different from Vikings from the North.

A nation will always focus on her brightest moments. Some people has made re-writing history an art. It has been said that Russian history has never been foreseeable, the future, however. is always bright.

In case of Stamford Bridge and Hastings, there were never a question on who won and who lost.

A famous "battle" took place in 1240. This was not anything like a battle by the Nordic standards. Alexander and a small, poorly equipped army were hiding in the bushes along the river Neva. A big, well equipped army led by Birger Jarl (founder of Stockholm) approached. Birger Jarl's task was to increase Swedish influence in the Baltic. Poor Aleksander was hiding in the bushed praying to God and all his Saints. The heavy armed Swedish army set out to cross the Neva on the ice. The ice broke under the army's feet setting courage in Aleksander's army. They came out from their hiding shouting and sending arrows towards the Swedes. Several Swedish soldiers drowned and one was lightly, but not life threatening hurt by an arrow. Aleksander himself became a hero. After all he had won a great victory over a big Swedish army and he is now called St. Aleksander Nevskiy. This is one of the most important victories in Russian history. You can argue if this was a victory or just some enemies with bad luck?

A real battle took place a few years before. Dsjengis Khan rose to power in 1206 and around 1220 he won a complete victory over the Kiev Rus. They called themselves "The Golden Horde" and they went to far-away places like Moscow, Suzdal and Vladimir. These times has often been described as the darkest in Russian history, but they were not. The Russian princes soon came to agreement with their Mongol rulers and started collecting taxes on behalf of their new masters. Trade prospered and so did the chambers of the princes. The Mongols ruled Russian for 250 years.

Ivan the Great was one of the tax collectors. In 1480 he informed Ahmed Khan that he had decided to stop the payment of taxes to the Mongols. Ahmed Khan marched against Ivan and Ivan was really frightened and lost all courage so brightly expressed days and weeks before. Ivan and Ahmed stood for a few days at each side of the Ugra river looking at each other. Suddenly a messenger rode up in a cloud of dust at the Mongolian side. Soon after Ahmed and "The Golden Horde" broke up their camp and headed East. Ahmed had learned from the messenger that his uncle the Great Khan has died and it was time for him to secure his interests. This incident is, believe it or not, described in Russian history as the victory in the battle at the river Ugra!

You can argue if descriptions of the victories at Neva and Ugra are willful false or just blindness from facts. We know the Rus had been mingling with Greek monks. The so called victories could be the result of payers and Gods will? To me, a simple minded amateur historian, this is not likely. I more see it as the start of a tradition of re-writing history setting the current ruler in the Superman position.

Ivan Groznyj is the last of Hårek's heritage to rule Russia. He killed his oldest son Ivan during a quarrel. Ilya Repin's picture in the old Tretyakov Gallery is hiding nothing and very dramatic and fascinating.




It is not possible to avoid Napoleon.

He took Moscow in a brilliant military maneuver and as George Bush he lost the peace. The Russian and French armies were fighting at Borodino. All neutral observers will say the French won. Napoleon marched into Moscow and established his quarter in Kreml waiting for the surrender. Tsar Aleksander was safe in his capital, Petersburg. He had in fact three excellent commanders, Barclay de Tolly from the Scottish Barclay clan, Prince Bagration - a Georgian from Dagestan, the excellent Russian general Tormasov and there were others.
Why didn't Napoleon head for Petersburg - the Capital? May be he had bad maps or limited education. Napoleon was sitting in Moscow, as arrogant as a French can be, waiting for someone to hand over the Golden Key of Moscow and some food - s'il vous plait. Nothing happened. Napoleon and his officers, poor arrogant French, waited for the noblesse of Moscow to show up with their daughters at the announced ball room dances. The young ladies were long gone to safety in the East. Moscow was put on fire. The only ones showing up at the dances was hungry, louse infected and sick prostitutes. On their retreat most soldiers did not die from war action or cold, but from louse infections.




The French won the battle of Borodino and lost some other battles. May be the Russian won one as well or may the the French was just tired of louse and bad food.

Tsar Aleksander is a fascinating caracter. He had an alliance with Napoleon and ended up with war. Aleksander showed as a firm tsar during the war. He participated in the Victory Parade in Paris. He seemed charming and well educated. Rumors say that he pretended dead and slipped away to Siberia where he lived for many years.

Histories going from man to man and sometimes man to woman are not easily controllable. The story about Aleksander going to Siberia is one of these stories. The photographic truth is more difficult...four....three...two...one...Stalin!



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