Circus going North

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Welcome Murmansk, how are you;
Welcome to our Circus - Welcome to Circus New Development;
Meet all our clowns;
Learn Silly Walking;
See our well trained Beagles and Seals;
Hear, hear - Mr. P is coming;



Imagine all the experts gathering and remember, an expert doesn't have to be a rocket scientist. Very often it's enough being a looooooong way from home.



And now, they'll be flooding Murmansk for the First Murmansk International Economic Forum.

Little man with his eyes on fire;
And his smile so bright;

You may have got it - the Circus is sending a big delegation to this Forum. This will create business opportunities for someone. Some circus artists will travel upper class.....



Lower classes travel lower class in open carriage according to the circus' procedures. All men and women are equal, but some are more equal than others according to the protocol.



Did you see the circus clown?
What you see and what you will hear;
Will last you for the rest of your life.

According to a recent press release the New Hotel Development will move to a new location. Top Management has found a perfect site for the new Resort and Spa Hotel.

Unfortunately you see few seals on the nice beaches due to the illegal Swedish seal hunt over the last few years.



The new hotel will have the latest in fire and safety equipment as well as requirements and instruction on Fire Safety.

To attention of the smoking workers at “Hotel New Development” and of the persons working in the building societies:

• In connection with the complaints, about the increased frequency in cases of fires in garbage tanks because of not quench cigarette-butts, ejected by our workers and those, who work in the building, it is required to smoke only in designated smoking area.


• We remind you about the administrative and disciplinary responsibility for the non-observance of the requirements of instruction “about the measures of fire safety in the official and offices of “Hotel New Development” by the director of branch B Fawlty and criminal responsibility in accordance with the current legislation Russian Federation.

Administrative and supply directorate

Holy smoke! You can face disciplinary reactions and what if there is no one else to blaim!


Stick with me and I'll ride with you;
Till the end of the line.

...on the Metro.

Hold my hand and I'll walk with you;
Through the darkest night.

...on our way to Siberia.

Welcome to Circus New Development

Ladies and Gentlemen,

You've heard of Oxford Circus;
You've heard of Piccadilly Circus;
You've heard of The Moscow Circus;
And this is Circus New Development;
And we've got sights and sounds and marvels to delight your eyes and ears;

Circus New Development is a subsidiary of the Hotel New Development.

Our goal is to be recognized as a modern international circus well known for our seals and monkeys.

We have the pleasure to announce that Senor Manuel from Barcelona has accepted the position as Head of the Tours and Tents division. As Head of Tours, Manuel is responsible for recruiting monkeys and seals. According to Senor Manuel the market is flooded with monkeys. He claims to know a whole bunch. However, the market for dead and living seals is very tight at the moment.

WWF and Greenpeace are very concerned by the increasing Swedish seal hunt over the last few years. Swedes have increased their hunt (or kill) in the Baltic and in the Arctic.

In Murmansk, Russia, an institute has started training seals to drill exploration wells in the Barents Sea. The team of seals headed by the Head of Seals will operate an all electric drill at the sea floor. Rosatom's new floating nuclear power plant will provide the necessary power. The seals will replace the divers currently operating sea floor drilling units. Trained sample catcher seals will swim down to the reservoir catching hydrocarbon samples.



There are no connections between the company mentioned in this video and Circus New Development.

Homesick - pining for the fiords

Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

I'm pining for the fiords. It's the last chance this year to see the Norwegian Blue before they head South to Africa or where ever. I fancy migrating birds.



A delegation of the Hotel Developments ornithologists association recently visited the Norwegian fiords to study the Norwegian Blue. Among all the locations they even visited a gas platform in the North Sea. The hotel's organization is very modern and internationally oriented with all main functions included a Head of Protocol. The Head of Protocol has decided that all Heads of other Heads shall travel in closed carriages on long overland travels in rural areas. Heads shall travel in open carriages. In urban areas Heads of Heads may well prefer to travel in open black carriages if the weather is nice and the sun is shining.



The Hotel has initiated an open prequalification among carriage manufacturers with experience of delivering open carriages to Kings and other Big Heads with the purpose of purchasing two new corporate carriages preferably with a throne type rear seat.



Some of you is staying and this could be an excellent September weekend in Moscow.

Yoohoo - it's the gasmen and dishwashers day

This weekend we are celebrating the gasmen and the dishwasher's day. The Oil and Gas Industry celebrate the oil-and gasmen. In the Hotel Business we celebrate the dishwashers. Imagine that without the natural gas the food had been cold and without those brave men and women washing dishes you would be eating on dirty plates. I celebrated with a bunch of other dishwashers, a big pot of boiled sheep and cabbage and too much Aquavit. It's Ramadan, but we drew the curtains and started before the sun set.

Early morning without warning
Woke me with a scare
I had that dream again
That the sun was dead

May be it was too much Gammel Reserve?

Gammel Reserve is a mix of Løitens Linie, Lysholms Linie and Gammel Opland. It's only missing some Siemers (burned twice)!

Manuel was the main speaker at our celebration. He's a splendid guy:

On behalf of collective of The Dishwashing division of The Hotel New Development and from myself personally I congratulate you on our professional holiday – Day of the worker of the hotel industry and specially all dishwashers!
It is a holiday of real masters of the business, professionals, brave people, able to overcome the most improbable barriers and to decide the challenges. From the bottom of the heart I wish you prosperity, responsible partners and economic stability in Russia and all over the world, and may our cooperation be stronger!
I wish you and your relatives health, happiness and well-being!

The girls were told to go home early Friday; courtesy of Mr Fawlty, of course. It's hard to be a woman here at the Hotel. Leaving office at 1 pm allows her to shop sausages, beer and vodka; before he arrives home.

Meet me in the summertime. Pearly lips and cherry wine. Moonshine in your hair. Just keep staring at the sun.

Me, I'm doing fine, but still missing a small car. Some of the guys around here got really big cars. I just need a small one, but can only dream.

On the efficient usage of toilets

Last week was another quiet week in Moscow. Changing, but nice weather. Good for walking last weekend. Not much traffic early in the morning.



Got a good shot of my favourite motiv.



This week the hotel management decided that guests and employees shall use doors when entering or leaving the hotel. A Norwegian guest climbing out of a window was reported by an English gentleman. The hotel security department will ensure that this will not be possible in the future. A special secret order has been issued by the secret security department. It says that the hotel building have doors that shall be used when entering and leaving the building. That goes for Santa Claus as well. The doors are monitored by advanced electronic devices as well as security personnel.

Our hotel are focusing cost cutting these days. A task force led by Manuel has recommended to target energy consumption, unecessary use of colors and the latest initiative is on the use of toilet paper and flush water. Potential savings are at least 30% of the costs related to savings identifcation, research and follow up.

Уважаемые работники компании «Oтел Девелопмент»!

В связи с планируемым проведением замеров туалета нашим «Oтел» просим Вас 01.09.2009 года:

• работающих на 1-ом и 2-ом этажах в 11-00 до 12-30: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.


• работающих на 3-ем и 4-ом этажах в 11-30 до 13-00: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.


• работающих на 1-ом, 2-ом, 3-ем и 4-ом этажах в 15-00 до 16:30: пойдите к туалетам в свою очередь.

Стойка в линии для того чтобы во избежание задержки!

Dear Hotel Employees!

Due to scheduled toilet utilisation measurements, please be advised to act as follows on September 1, 2009:

• For employees working on the 1st and 2nd floors - from 11.00 to 12.30 visit the toilets in turn.


• For employees working on the 3rd and 4th floors - from 11.30 to 12.30 visit the toilets in turn.


• For employees working on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors - from 15.00 to 16.30 visit the toilets in turn.

Organise a proper que to avoid delays!

Manuel

Head of Many Departments

Late Friday afternoon rumors said that Manuel (from Barcelona) has suggested to close all toilets and offer the option of refunding the cost of using one of the pay per visit one's at the near by metro station (provided you've got a receipt, of course). According to our friend people will think twice before walking 10 min to visit a toilet.



Metro station toilets could be good business. Kolkata (Calcutta), "The City of Joy", has a working metro system that shuts down in heavy rain. Like they have this time of the year with Monsun winds, 30 deg and thunder storms. It's a different and exiting city. If you are tired of the Hotel Development and want to start your own business, reply to this:

2 toilets, Near Bansdroni Metro Station For Sale

Location : South Kolkata - Tollygunge

Smoothly communicable, every thing available from the market near by, south-north-west open, very airy, full of light .

Contact : R K Basu

Mobile : 9836113338

Address : 280 Nathpara, Brahmapur, Kolkata 700084, Beside SBI Brahmapur

I've been to this place and it's a good location. Fortunately, on my travels in India there was never an urgent need.



Every day there's a boy in the mirror asking me...
What are you doing here?
Finding all my previous motives
growing increasingly unclear.

No colors anymore - I want them to turn black

Last week was a quiet week here in Moscow.

I see a red door and I want it painted black.
No colors anymore I want them to turn black.

I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes. I have to turn my head until my darkness goes.

I see a line of cars and they're all painted black.



I look inside myself and see my heart is black. I see my red door and it has been painted black.



Our energy saving campaign has been very successful. The never resting hotel management recently launched a new research program on the use of colors. Manuel, our brilliant friend from Barcelona, was heading the program showing excellent leadership. "There are too many colors"; Manuel said, before writing a new order to be signed by the hotel management.

With a view of consumables saving and efficient utilization of color printers in the Hotel premises I Give an Order:

1. To the Heads of all Hotel Departments:
   Ensure efficient utilization of paper and color printers. Preparation and copying of the presentation materials for the workshops should be made by using black-and-white printers in the right quantities only. Color printers should be used only in accordance with the instruction provided by the managers of structural subdivisions.
   


2. Information transfer to another company should be executed only by using CD-discs (or smoke signals), without USB Flash-Card.
   


3. Heads of Hotel Departments shall be charged with supervising;
   
   - office operating and employees work place conditions;
   
   Manuel Jose Milde Jesus Corcorcaedu, Head of Printing and Shredding Department, shall be charged with supervising;
   
   - efficient utilization of color printers
   
   Signed
   
   Hotel Director
   
   B Fawlty
   

Here in town autumn is sneaking in on us. Each morning brings more leaves in the streets. Soon colors will be gone and it's black or gray. Even the snow will be grayish and we'll walk around in black slush.

Until then we can enjoy nice squares and parks while it's still time. Visit VDNkH or the All Union Exhibition Center from 1937 with its beautiful gold covered fountain. The pavilions used to display communisms latest and greatest achievements. To day you'll find small shops.



As Mr Fawlty once said; "Colors, bloody colors", before finishing the refrain for the new song recorded for the hotels anniversary (his secret dream is to compete with the Gazprom and StatoilHydro songs at the yearly "How bad can it be?" show);

I wanna see it painted, painted black
Black as night, black as coal
I wanna see the sun blotted out from the sky
I wanna see it painted, painted, painted, painted black
Yeah!

Save, save, save..energy, water and MONEY

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel, you were talking so brave and so sweet.

Most of our departments are now back in business and in full swing. Our friends in the Silly Walks Division of the General Services, Parking and Walking Department are still very silly.

The Energy Division of the Energy, Water and Sewage Department has been very busy mapping energy usage in the entire hotel.

You may have seen it before; “Take responsibility for the Environment. Use towels more than once. Don’t waste water. Save the Earth – YOU can make a difference!” and other cover up’s for saving money. Be green!

Giving me head on the unmade bed, while the limousines wait in the street. Those were the reasons and that was New York.

Energy costs are increasing in Russia. Natural gas prices are down and the cost of electricity will be increased to compensate. Yes, this is logical. At least in this part of the world where "Things are just like home, but very different". It's well described in Pareto's fifth theorem showing how the wealthy 20% of the population make sure that the poorer 80% always use all their money to make the 20% richer.

We were running for the money and the flesh, and that was called love for the workers in song and probably still is for those of them left.

Our management, well known for their bravery, has once again has taken some really brave decisions backed by detailed research. One of their previous brave action was letting "a beautiful blond woman" speak on behalf of the management in a meeting. You could wonder if they don't know what blonde's are for.

1. Heads of all hotel organization units shall assure control over efficient use of electric power (table lamps, PCs, printers, lights, conditioners). At the end of each business day all of the above mentioned sources of power consumption in working and conference rooms shall be switched off.
2. Heads of business units and employees in charge of negotiation agreements shall be administrative liable for non-compliance with power saving policy requirements.
3. All parties concerned shall be acquainted with this Order.
4. Duty to monitor the performance of this Order shall be imposed on Head of Energy and Sewage Division, Mr. Manuel from Barcelona.

Signed

B. Faulty

This is an excellent example for most corporations. People at Paveletskaya sq, Forus, Vækerø, Paris and Bergen all says; "YES, let's do it?! It's the Financial Crisis, remember, and we all need to contribute in saving money!"

Ah, but you got away, didn't you babe, you just turned your back on the crowd!

Here's your opportunity to make a contribution to fight the Global Warming or the Financial Crisis. Your first step is to measure consumption.

Feel free to use our well proven plan. Adjust as needed. Don't quote your source.

First exercise:

Due to scheduled power consumption measurements, please be advised to act as follows on September 1st, 2009:
• For employees working on the 1st and 2nd floors - from 11:00 to 12:30 switch on and leave switched on electric light, air conditioners, and PCs in all rooms.
• For employees working on the 3rd and 4th floors - from 11:30 to 12:30 switch on and leave switched on electric light, air conditioners, and PCs in all rooms

Second exercise:

Due to scheduled power consumption measurements, please be advised to act as follows on September 2nd, 2009:
• For employees working on the 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th floors - from 15:00 to 16:30 switch on electric light, air conditioners, and PCs in all rooms.

Third exercise:

Due to scheduled power consumption measurements, please be advised that all guests on 5th floor should stay in their rooms between 15:00 and 16:30 hrs and act as follows on September 3rd, 2009:
• Guests living on the 5th floor - from 15.00 to 16.30 switch on electric light, air conditioners, hair dryers, TVs, and personal laptops in all rooms.


This may not fit for your case, but in general people work on 1st to 4th floors and 5th floor and above are guests and management.

You fixed yourself, you said, "Well never mind, we are ugly but we have the music."

And then you got away, didn't you babe...

And we are all proud and convinced that one day we will win the Best Hotels Award for innovation.

Welcome to our hotel!



I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel.
That's all, and I don't even think of you that often!
But I have to say - are YOU the one logging on from Hollywood?



And by the way, who the hell is logging on from Arlington, Virginia? As far as I know, that's where the CIA is located! Stay away guys!